WTF?
by White Rose Archer
Summary: OOC-ness, insanity, Naraku in a pink kimono and light Kagome bashing ......Enough said.
1. Inuyasha

[A reeeeeeeeeally stupid idea I had. It's the one day where NOTHING makes sense for Inuyasha.   
  
Disclaimer: I wish.....  
  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
WTF!?  
  
Inuyasha-tachi was walking to another piece of the Shikon no Tama when they saw Kikyo up ahead. "Kikyo-chan!," a happy voice from next to the half dog demon called out before a very happy Kagome and Sango rushed over to the zombie shamaness and began speaking in what Inuyasha could vaguly understand but with words he didn't know mixed. Such words were "eyeshadow" and "facial".   
  
After several hours of it(Miroku, Shippo and Kirara had long since left), Inuyasha stepped in. "What the hell are you babbling about?," were the words that left his mouth.   
  
Kagome waved a hand at him and continued her conversation with the dead woman and the exterminator. This left our fav. hanyou confused and for a reason unknown to even him, he walked off in another direction only to find the weirdest thing on the planet. Rin was sitting on a rock, glaring at the fluffiest bishie since ever who was cowaring before the demented Kermitt the frog.   
  
"Who commands you?," the pyro frog thing yelled, cracking a whip at the scared bishie who was kneeling before him.   
  
"You Jaken-sama,"[A/N: *runs off to wash her hands* I CANNOT BELIEVE I TYPED THAT!!!!] Sesshomaru muttered.   
  
"NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!,"Inuyasha howled before running away with his hands up. He streaked into the nearby village and saw a pretty girl and Miroku. 'Yes, my brother may change, Kagome and Sango may change and even Kikyo can change but this is something that can never change at all.' Yes, we all know what's coming next, or do we?  
  
"I have a question to ask of you," the furyou houshi told the girl.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
'3.....2......1'  
  
"How do oranges make seeds?"  
  
At this moment, a hanyou preformed a perfect anime fall into a dark building. Said building is Naraku's current hideout however, the interior said otherwise.   
  
The pink walls that were covered in cherry blossoms practically screamed to be clawed at. The tea set and flowers could also be questionable as something Naraku would keep.   
  
Sitting in the middle of the room, in a pink and white kimono with an anime smile on his face was Naraku having tea with Kohaku. "So you just GAVE him the necklace?"  
  
"Mmmhmm," Kohaku said looking quite pleased with himself.   
  
At that moment, present day Alaska heard a loud noise that sounded like one boy screaming at the top of his lungs.   
  
Inuyasha ran through the woods and smack into Koga. Unless you were living under a rock without anime for a while, you'd know these two are enemies. However, what Koga did next very much said otherwise. The wolf demon took Inuyasha's hands.   
  
'That's right,' the half breed mnetally coaxed. 'Now flip me into that tree.  
  
"Inuyasha...I...I LOVE YOU!!," Koga exclaimed before trying to hug the frightening albino(1)...  
  
and getting the hilt of the Tetsaiga to his head.   
  
Inuyasha tore through villages again, screaming at the top of his lungs. Grabbing a random villager by the shoulders he yelled, "AM I JUST PLAIN FREAKIN' SCARY!?!?!??!?!?!'  
  
The village woman simply smiled and said "No, you're actually quite cute."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha's eyes snapped open...and he found himself in a tree...with Kagome yelling at him to come down. He obeyed and soon they saw a black haired woman up the trail.....Inuyasha screamed bloody murder and ran in the other direction.   
  
*OWARI!!!!!*  
  
[Heh...Neh.....FEH! R&R!] 


	2. Naraku

[Nekobara: Oh come on. Even Naraku has his days. Warning: Light Kagome bashing. Marik-chan will come around at the end of the fic and gather your flames. ]  
  
WTF?  
  
It was a usual day for the dark lord. Get up, bitch about mornings, open curtains, bitch about sun, get into the bath[AN: *drools*], bitch about the water being too cold. The norm.   
  
After dressing in his kimono, Naraku was met by a rib-crushing hug. The amber eyes widened, blinked and stared at the evil hug giver.  
  
His incarnation, Kanna, had proceeded into hugging her father around the waist. Adding to the strangeness by calling him "Daddy".   
  
"Daddy, the mirror is broken. I think that mean Kagome broke it[1], " Kanna said, gazing at her father like a boy looks at his baseball hero.   
  
"Uh..." 'WHAT THE HELL!!!!!'  
  
"Daadddddddddyyyyyy, " Kanna said, hitting an impossibly high note. Naraku flinched.   
  
"Kanna, I think your screaming like that broke it, " a drawling voice called from the doorway. Both eyes turned to see Kagura smiling pleasantly. "I heard you scream yesterday and saw the mirror break."  
  
Kanna's dark eyes slightly brightened. "Oh, of course. Nee-chan. You're sooo smart."   
  
"And you're so understanding."  
  
'And I'm confused as hell. ' Naraku decided he shouldn't elaborate and left both incarnations to their helping one another.   
  
As he donned his baboon pelt, the darkness known as Naraku, left his castle to see Inuyasha heading his way. 'He's coming to rid the world of me again... yay.'   
  
"NARAKU!!!" The red clad half demon started walking towards Naraku.   
  
"..." The amber eyes blinked.   
  
Inuyasha shoved the shikon shards into Naraku's hands. "Here. I can't take the pressure. I'm gonna go join Kikyou in her journey to hell. Mmmkay?" Naraku blinked a few more times. The other hanyou looked concerned. "Somethin' wrong with your eyes, you've blinked 9 times since you woke up this morning. "  
  
This disturbed Naraku slightly. "How did you know how many times I blinked?"   
  
Inuyasha smiled in an insane manner that could easily scare anyone. "I'm obsessed with you. I loooooove you. " Inuyasha hugged Naraku, coincedently, in the same place as Kanna had earlier that morning. "Come on Naraku-sama. Let us leave Kikyou and that silly wench behind. We can eat ramen and vegetables in the sky all day. "   
  
Naraku felt the need to start wretching. The hanyou, Inuyasha, was hugging him, proclaiming love for him. 'CAN I PLEASE DIE!?!?!?!??!?!?' He peeled Inuyasha off him and began to run like hell. However, baboon pelts were not made for running and Naraku tripped over it, falling face-first on the ground... right infront of Kikyou.   
  
"Naraku-sama! AHH! " The priestess glomped Naraku. "OMIGOSH! IT'S YOU! AHHH!"   
  
The high pitched voice was about to push Naraku off the edge. When suddenly...   
  
"KIKYOU!!! HE'S MINE!!!"   
  
"No, he isn't, Inuyasha! He's straight and mine!!!" Thus, a fight broke out between Inuyasha and Kikyou which involved hair pulling, yelling and eventually lead to cuddling between Inuyasha and Kikyou. The authoress smiles.   
  
As Naraku ran, he came across the authoress's third favorite couple. Yup, Miroku and Sango. The tajiya and houshi walked over to Naraku holding hands. "Ah, Naraku, just the man we wanted to talk to," Miroku said as though he wasn't speaking to the same man that had cursed all of his family. "Me and Sango-chan wanted to... well..."   
  
"We wanted to make peace with you," Sango finished.   
  
A few more blinks occured before a loud voice echoed halfway across the Pacific ocean. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING OOOOOOONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naraku began running again. And he was running,   
  
and running,   
  
and running,   
  
and the authoress is running out of ideas.... Ah, right.   
  
So Naraku ran... straight into Sesshoumaru. Cold eyes burned straight into Naraku. Of course, because Naraku never took bishie classes and that he was a natrual bish, he never learned the puppy-dog look. Therefore, he had to settle for the 'please don't ask' look that came natrually as a villain.   
  
"Ah, Naraku, just the man I wanted to see. "  
  
"I've heard that a lot today. "  
  
"Have you?"   
  
"What's your game Sesshoumaru?"   
  
"I was simply hoping we could have a meal and talk a bit. "  
  
"... Tell me, would this meal have anything to do with candles and sake?"   
  
"Probably, hopefully... why?"  
  
"..." And another scream rang out.   
  
Naraku continued his running and screaming. "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS?!?"   
  
'You really want me to answer, Naraku?'  
  
'Quiet Onigumo!'   
  
'Very well. Hm, Inuyasha is pretty damn cute though.'  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Naraku suddenly awoke and was in his own bed, in his own castle, shirtless[AN: *drools again*]. "A nightmare. Just a nightmare." He closed his eyes and fell asleep again.   
  
OWARI!!!  
  
[ [1]= I do not like Kagome. Can you tell by all the Kagome bashing?   
  
OK, I'm thinking about doing Sesshoumaru next. What do you think?   
  
Koga muse: I think that I hate Kagome bashings.   
  
Nekobara: You would, Koga-chan.   
  
Marik muse: *goes around collecting the flames and gives them all to Hiei of Yu Yu Hakusho*   
  
Nekobara: R&R  
  
Koga muse: OR DON'T!!!] 


End file.
